In Eason Chan’s “White Rose,” there is a truly classic lyric that must be mentioned:
What one cannot obtain is always precious. In an inferior position, how can one not resort to scheming?
Or in “Red Rose,” there is a line that has been widely spread until it’s almost overused:
What one cannot obtain is always in turmoil. Those who are favored are fearless.

These two lyrics have very directly explained why in a relationship between men and women, there is always one party in an “inferior position” and even generate the thought that even if there is a breakup, one will definitely be the one who suffers more. And all these thoughts are precisely because you feel that your investment in this relationship is more than that of the other party, but you don’t receive the same return. It could be that you have been taking the initiative often, but after dating for a while, the other party becomes increasingly indifferent. They would rather play games or meet their buddies than spend more time with you, and so on.
If you are willing to truly make changes for yourself, then the following five points may bring some inspiration to your relationship.

Invest less in emotions

Although it’s cruel, the truth is that people always long for what they can’t obtain. The easier something is to get, the less people cherish it. Especially when the other party knows that you definitely can’t leave him. Precisely because you are the one who invests more, you always feel inferior and be extremely cautious in everything. As a result, you become overly anxious and worried about gains and losses. You will also be prone to overthinking because of a few words from the other party. Even if the other party doesn’t reply to your message, you will be afraid that you said something wrong. Trying too hard to gain the initiative often backfires due to being overly hasty.
Especially if you are in the ambiguous stage, please don’t pour all your enthusiasm into this relationship. Learn to have (or at least show) an “I don’t care” mindset and attitude. Learn to control and distribute your enthusiasm to different things and people, and “let it go” at the right time. This can reduce the pressure on both the other party and yourself and increase your bargaining chips.

Don’t lose yourself

Many girls, once they are in a relationship, want to please the other party as much as possible. So they do whatever the other party says and have no opinions, resulting in losing themselves. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Wouldn’t you find it annoying if a person is always submissive and needs you to decide everything, big or small? Will you cherish such a person?
Therefore, under normal circumstances, a girl who has her own opinions and can rationally analyze problems and give opinions at appropriate times is definitely more attractive. This way, he won’t be able to leave you!
Sometimes, appropriately expressing your dissatisfaction (not being overly temperamental or jealous without reason!) and showing that you are not submissive and willing to communicate calmly with the other party instead will make the other party respect you more.
In addition, sometimes you need to stick to your bottom line and don’t let the other party think that no matter what he does wrong, you will unconditionally support and forgive him and always be by his side. Never rationalize the other party’s wrongdoings and find excuses for him. Don’t let the other party constantly trample on your bottom line and dignity.

Cultivate your independence

Women should avoid putting love above everything else. So don’t be overly dependent on the other party and make everything revolve around the other party. Therefore, learn to cultivate your independent personality. Have your own friends, career, interests, dreams, etc., and allocate more time to yourself.
Even you can improve yourself, dress up, go to the gym, enhance your inner cultivation and external conditions, and increase your attractiveness. Although these things are not necessarily done only to increase your bargaining chips in a relationship, there is no denying that a confident woman is indeed the most beautiful. Moreover, it can make the other party feel a sense of 危机感 of losing you, and the initiative will naturally return to your hands!
When you realize that even when you are alone, you can be extremely wonderful, it means that love is no longer the only thing in your life but just an embellishment. At this point, you have won!

Love and respect yourself

Learning to love yourself is always the most important. Loving yourself means not being overly submissive and only thinking about and catering to the other party. Instead, pay more attention to your own needs. For example, don’t force yourself to like spicy food just because the other party likes it. This is not to say that you shouldn’t change for the sake of 磨合. Just on the premise of not harming the other party. In the same way, learning to love yourself is the way to have a sense of self and respect yourself.
Have you ever wondered why bad men/men always have a unique charm? It’s because they rarely put love at the top of their list. They are full of confidence in themselves and live freely. This is not to encourage everyone to be a heartbreaker in relationships. It’s just that their attitude of being able to pick up and let go easily and putting their own happiness first is sometimes worth learning from. Such a carefree and self-loving woman, how can any man resist? (Smile)

Take the initiative occasionally

Although it’s been said that being the initiative party in everything is not a good thing, it doesn’t mean you can’t take the initiative occasionally. If you are usually more passive and suddenly give the other party a surprise, such as making a handmade gift for the other party, taking the initiative to hug and kiss, etc., then your initiative will seem not taken for granted but extremely precious. The other party will find you more interesting, as if discovering a new side of you, bringing him a sense of freshness and making him more and more addicted to you, just like being addicted.
In fact, in every relationship, love should flow. It should not always flow from high to low. Instead, both parties should take the initiative and be equal. The reason for women to regain the initiative should not be to control the other party but to balance the scale of emotions. Only then can the relationship last long.